Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing Your Own Vows

Most couples feel that their love is truly unique, a special bond between the two of them that no one else will ever experience in quite the same way. They're right. Writing your own vows can be an intensely moving and intimate way to create a ceremony that truly reflects the way you feel about each other.

Before you can effectively express your feelings, you'll need to identify them. It's important to talk to each other about your marriage, discussing your beliefs, dreams & expectations. Take notes on this conversation and use it as the foundation for building your own custom made vows. Once you identify the things that are the most important to you, then you can decide how best to express them.

Here are some questions to get you started:

When and where did you first meet ?
What was the state of your life before the two of you met ?
At what point did you realize you were in love ? Describe the feeling...
What inspires you about your loved one ?
What life goals and dreams do you share ?
What have you learned from each other ?
What qualities make your love unique ? What qualities will keep it strong ?
How has your view of the world changed since you fell in love ?
What do you most look forward to about life with this person ?
What are some special moments in your relationship, either happy or sad, humorous or profound ?

Important Tips To Keep In Mind...

The vows themselves should only take two or three minutes to say to one another. This is a public declaration of your commitment, not a private conversation between the two of you.

Sincerity is the key; the words should come from your heart

Incorporate your wedding guests into your vows by having them respond with their blessings and support.

Read your vows out loud, which is a surprising effective way to catch errors, glitches, or awkward phrasing.

Additional thoughts on your commitment to marriage may be expressed in the main body of the ceremony or through the use of special poems and prayers

Don't embarrass your friends and family with details that are too intimate or lengthy.

Decide whether or not the two of you will recite the same vows or different ones.

Discuss your personal views with your officiant beforehand

All You Need Is Words

When searching for the right words to use, don't forget poetry, books, or song lyrics that touch your heart. These are a great place to begin...

Also consider taking some of the typical words used in ceremonies - cherish, love, honor, support, obey - and brainstorm around them, finding your own unique words with just the right nuance of meaning. Just in case you're stuck, we've provided a Wedding Vow Thesaurus, a list of phrases and words that will get you started...

Phrases

In sickness and in health
In sunshine and in shadow
For all eternity
From the deepest recesses of my heart
The full measure of my love
Built on mutual love and honesty
A symbol of my love
All the days of our lives
Dearer than life itself
I give myself to you
Light of my life
May our love flourish and grow

Verbs

Accept
Adore
Challenge
Cherish
Comfort
Commit
Cry
Declare
Desire
Develop
Embrace
Encourage

Endeavor
Endure
Experience
Give
Honor
Join
Laugh
Learn
Love
Nurture
Offer
Pledge

Promise
Protect
Respect
Share
Stand
Strive
Support
Swear
Uplift
Wonder

Nouns

Accomplice
Adversity
Ally
Angel
Beauty
Beloved
Best friend
Companion
Darling
Dearest
Despair
Eternity
Faith

Fears
Frailty
Freedom
Friend
Good fortune
Growth
Hero
Humor
Joy
Lover
Neglect
Partner
Peace

Permanent
Problems
Reverence
Sickness
Sorrow
Soul mate
Spirit
Sweetheart
Symbol
Teacher
Treasure
True counterpart
Understanding

Qualities

Beauty
Candor
Charisma
Charm
Cheerfulness
Chivalry
Courage
Dearest
Dependability
Determination
Elegance
Enduring
Eternal
Everlasting
Fidelity
Forever

Generosity
Gentility
Grace
Happy
Holy
Honesty
Hopeful
Humility
Humor
Independence
Innocence
Integrity
Joyful
Long
Loveliest
Loyalty

New
Partnership
Playfulness
Priceless
Pride
Purity
Simplicity
Sincerity
Sweetness
Tenderness
True
Trust
Unknown
Virtue
Worth

Descriptions

Alive
Ardent
Attractive
Beautiful
Beholden
Binding
Caring
Charming
Complete
Considerate
Constant
Courageous
Cozy
Dauntless
Deserving
Desirable
Devoted
Ecstatic